End to End

It is Tuesday night or rather early hours of Wednesday morning & I returned to work today.

I see a board in reception that detailed my journey to my End2End along with sponsorship which has over £245 pledged so looks like store will have raised over £350 for me.

Many say well done as I pass them throughout the day & I feel slightly embarrassed at what I should reply, I genuinely still can't believe we did it me, Lorna & Dan.

I tell them both I can't find any motivation to do a final blog but I know I must.

Shall I explain that living with a chronic Illness exaggerates your whole life but you need to be careful how you handle this. My drive to enjoy life & leave a legacy these last 8 years led to this End2End but now it is over my lows & negative thoughts are now being magnified. I need to find balance.

Where is the motivation to go to gym, where is the motivation to do anything?

You just need to look at how long it has took me to write this blog to see the lethargy setting in but I see the signs straight away now and I will fight them every minute of everyday as I know the dangers if I do not.

So I owe it to those many who supported me to write a final blog thanking them.

How many will be surprised at my boss emailing my horoscopes which were scarily accurate & motivational.

How in one 15 minute meeting while training for this a fellow cyclist gave me the best advice ever & was eventually my biggest donator.

No punctures.yet met a fellow cyclist who had 3 in one day.

2 major car crashes on route yet I can say not once did I feel unsafe on even the busiest road.

The desent down Shep my biggest climb where I couldn't brake, petrified as I was travelling so fast.

I left majority of my tablets at home but didn't tell Lorna so I did this by actually not taking my daily tablets.

I think I have a couple of blogs left especially final total raised. I just have to make sure I stay positive.

John

When John first mentioned cycling John O'Groats to Lands End 2 years ago my initial thought was 'oh here we go again'. Those of you who know John will understand why! He has these madcap ideas every now and then but (thankfully) most of them don't come to fruition!

However when he got me to write to his work asking for a couple of weeks off unpaid I thought 'hmmm maybe he is serious!' But as 6 months and then 9 months passed with it only being mentioned a couple of times I wasn't to concerned.

And then 3 or 4 months ago it all became pretty serious when he began training and talking about it a lot (by a lot I mean constantly!) but as usual he had not thought through any of the logistics of the trip! Where we would stay, what the route would be and more importantly how we would fund it!

Anyone who has ever planned anything like this will understand how difficult it is to get people to commit to 'help' so we were both extremely relieved when Dan agreed to be our support driver and let us use his car! You have to bear in mind we had only met Dan a couple of times before! He said to me, on the trip, that we were very trusting to rely on him and I feel that he too was very trusting to offer his support! I guess it was a giant leap of faith on all parts!

So now things were coming together I decided to have a look at the route and see what I could find accommodation wise. My heart sank as I started to see the prices of hotels and b&b's. How the hell were we going to fund this? I spoke to John about setting up a go fund me page instead of a just giving as that way we could take our costs from the sponsorship instead of financially crippling us! I then spoke to Dan and explained that it was looking pretty costly so would he mind if I looked at cheaper alternatives for accommodation and would he mind sharing? It wasn't ideal but needs must. He was very understanding and agreed to 'slum it' and share where possible!

So I booked wigwams, glamping, youth hostels, travelodges and the odd b&b. Even then the cost was almost £1000. And that was before we added on petrol and bike clothing and bike spares and feeding 4 of us for more than 2 weeks!

John had a Dr's appointment a few weeks before we left and the GP asked if he was still exercising and he told her yes and explained about his upcoming end to end. She said they were having a practise meeting the next day and she would tell Dr Spence who has been John's GP since he was diagnosed and has been brilliant. The next day John gets a call from the practise manager Kim saying that they are eager to sponsor him and we've to go in and see her in a couple of days. When we go in we are astounded when she offers to pay for t shirts and hoodies with branding on them, an expensive rain jacket for John and then, completely unexpectedly, she asked how much the accommodation was costing and when I told her she said 'OK I'll pay for that as well'. We were both blown away! John was almost in tears and I was speechless! We walked out the room with more than £1200 worth of sponsorship and a massive load of my shoulders! I could finally start to get excited about the trip!

Once John is focussed on something it becomes his only focus! In the weeks leading up to the cycle he was distant, moody and shut off from everyone and everything else. All he did was cycle and go to work. It was hard not to get frustrated and scream at him lol

The week before we went saw me frantically rushing around writing lists, packing bags, buying supplies, chasing up deliveries and even helping John change the tyres on his bike! But finally we were ready! John finished work on Thursday 3rd of September at 5pm and Dan arrived at ours at 6pm. I made us a hearty dinner before we all headed off for an early night.

The actual days of the trip are a bit of a mash up for me with the days all blending into one. Every morning I packed up the various bags and loaded up the car. We went looking for breakfast for Dan and myself. Then we would use John's dodgy directions to try and find him so that he could change his clothes and we could give him food and water. Then he would set off again and we would drive to the next meeting place and wait for him for another change of clothes and more food and water. Then we would head to the nights accommodation. And I would unpack the car, take in all the bags, get John clean clothes for after his shower and then Dan and I would head out on the hunt for an evening meal. Then bed and repeat the next day!

We did see some lovely scenery but mostly I was completely focussed on where is John?, how is he getting on? Is he on the right road? Has he eaten enough? Drank enough? Is this road hilly? Is this road too busy? How does he feel? Etc etc etc

We arrived home on Tuesday 8th for an overnight stay and left again on Wednesday with a new addition to the team in the shape of Kyle, my 9yr old son. And having had all the washing done lol

Again the days blur with the same routine except now when we drove to the next meeting place we were searching for a playpark or grassy area for Kyle to run around in!

And now I had the added worry of how am I going to get the washing done! One very nice travelodge manager offered to do some for us one night and the youth hostel we stayed at one night had a huge kitchen and a laundry room! So we had a lovely home cooked lasagne and I got all our clothes cleaned! The simple pleasures lol

As we worked our way through the north and Midlands of England we felt like we just lived travelodge to travelodge. John was leaving early in the morning and by the time we all got up, showered and packed up then picked up water and a Tesco meal deal we were rushing to meet john. On one occasion he even made it to the next nights accommodation before us!

Finally we arrived in Devon and gained another member of the team in the form of John's youngest daughter Grace. At this point the end was almost in sight! And I was starting to feel a sense of relief!

But when we went to meet John at the predetermined place he text to say he was running late. So instead of 1pm he'd be there at 1.30pm then he text again and said it would be after 2pm. We settled in a pub beer garden with a soft drink to wait for him. I was expecting him to turn the corner with his usual big smile when he spotted us. Especially as we had Grace with us! Instead he came round the corner shaking his head, staggered from his bike, sat on the bench and put his head in his hands! He looked defeated and for the first time I was worried! And I had doubts. Maybe we were crazy, maybe he'd pushed himself too far. What on earth were we thinking?

Not knowing what else to do we headed for the supermarket as we were staying at a cottage that night so hoped that a warm bath, some homemade food and a good rest would have him raring to go the next day for the penultimate stage.

The cottages were beautiful in a lovely farm location with pretty flower boxes and surrounded by fields of cattle. The interior was warm and cosy with DVD's and board games for the kids. John had a bath whilst I made a huge cottage pie and then took himself off for an early night. When I went up to bed later he was soaked through with sweat and although asleep seemed awful restless! And through the night I awoke loads of times with the rain lashing on the windows and I was dreading the next day!

The weather forecast said the rain was due to stop at 9am so he waited and set off then. The weather forecast lied! It rained again a good couple of heavy showers and when we met up with him at lunchtime he was soaked through and even had to change his socks and shoes BUT the smile had returned! He headed off for Wadebridge whilst we dashed off to Port Isaac for a cream tea and a spot of sightseeing! He actually got to wadebridge before us and headed off to visit some folks he had worked with when he lived down there.

That night we had been very lucky in that one of Grace's friends Amelia's mum and dad own a hotel and had very generously offered us accommodation for the night free of charge! The hotel is beautiful and the rooms were great!

Next morning when I awoke John was already up and dressed and pottering about. He told me he was a bag of nerves! He couldn't sit still and was constantly messing about with his bike. We all went for breakfast but he couldn't eat and just had tea and some toast but even then had to get up and go play with the bike some more!

We set off to drop him off and I think by this point his nerves had rubbed off on us all! After we had dropped him off we drove to our first meeting place of Hayle where we had a cuppa and a cake at a little cafe before following the road sign to the beach which blew us away! It was stunning!

We waited for john at a playpark with a little cafe and while the kids played I asked Dan how he felt now it was almost over! I said that we may not have cycled it but we still drove it and that is an achievement too!

After meeting John and giving him water we headed to Asda where we bought a magnum of cheap 'champers', some bunting and balloons! We passed John on the single track road to lands end and tried to hide the balloons in the car. Then Dan whizzed us down to lands end to meet up with Grace's mum and her friend to set up while he whizzed back 2 miles to meet John and drop off Kyle so that he could cycle the last 2 miles.

At lands end there is a finish line and posts which was where we positioned ourselves. Ready to hold up the bunting and balloons to cheer him in. Unfortunately a very rude bus driver drove up to pick people up and blocked half of the road! And then we spotted them coming in over the hill so we set ourselves up and cheered, whooped and hollered as he crossed the finish line! Then we shook up the 'champers and sprayed it around before filling up our plastic glasses and toasting his achievement! We had been told that there is a book at the hotel reception that you can sign as an end to ender so john set off to do that and we headed round to the sign post.

We were a bit miffed to discover that you have to pay £10 for a picture under the sign! And when we enquires the guy said we could 'buy one get one free' but we settled on taking pics from the other side of the fence as we wanted loads!

Our last nights accommodation was at the YHA 'snooze boxes' at the Eden project. Which are basically converted shipping containers but pretty cool! We ordered in pizza and john had a bottle of red wine to celebrate!

Sunday morning found us packing up the car for the final time before we embarked on the epic 500+ mile drive home. John slept most of the way which I guess is understandable!

Today is Monday and Kyle has gone back to school, Dan has just left for home and I am lying on the couch with a cup of tea nursing my sore back which has most def gotten a lot worse as the 16 days went on. John is pottering around unpacking and tidying up and trying to keep himself busy.

He said earlier he can't believe he did it! And knowing John as I do I can foresee the low mood that is going to consume him for the next few days. He will disappear into himself. He will analyse every minute of the trip. He will question its wisdom. He will get emotional. He will sleep a lot and he will be snappy and detached. And he will be embarrassed by the attention and the plaudits that he will receive. Eventually I will get my John back for a couple of weeks ................

And then he will start to think 'what can I do next?' And so the whole cycle will begin again! God help me!