Why end to end now

End to End

So I have announced on social media that I will cycle John O’Groats to lands end as my next goal, it has been in planning for over a year but have waited till 6 weeks before for the obvious reason of will my current health allow it? So of course I think it will.

Why attempt it? Simply because I believe I can do it and long held the ambition to do even before diagnosis but to me it seems a logical end to the last 8 years of working out what I am capable of both physically & mentally, I fully understand my heart failure body & mind now & how it works but feel that could change once device (Barry the box) is changed. of course I have doubts but who wouldn't?

what I simply want to do is show heart failure can be tackled by all to achieve something & anything, I want to thank and show all those around me be it my family, friends & medical staff that I have loved  their support but most of all as someone fully aware of how quickly life can change or end I want to leave memories that maybe make those closest to me proud of me & I want to raise awareness that not all heart failure is negative.

I look at baby Oliver who I will fundraiser for  and see a family living in an amazing world of medical advancement like I am but I had a life before DCM & Oliver hasn't so I want to simply try to give him & his family a good memory of maybe a holiday as I know such positive things to look forward to & memories are key to positively living with a chronic illness.

I have read so much about how to train for this but I simply cannot train for 6 months for something as my body won't allow it. what I can do is intensely train for 2 months & use my already gained stamina to meet the physical demands knowing full well post completion like it always is will be hard but more psychologically than physically.

I have spoken to those medically around me & I fully except they can't endorse me to do it 

but they know the whole story and the ups & down so none have or will say don't.” Don't” is not a word I have ever heard them say to me as I think about it. If I believed “don't” in every booklet about heart failure where would I be? 

My work & especially boss have again been supportive & understanding. A key lesson from the last 8 years has been probably how I have maybe not handled this area well but without them this would not be possible hopefully together we are both learning  how someone with heart failure can return to work with something medically was maybe not possible even the year before. I still see the confusion in some of thinking “how hard is it to live with heart failure if he can do this?” That is view we need to change.

My best friend always said “if going to be a bear be a grizzly” so my final goal of Barry the box needs to follow that saying, I know many will question my thinking & risk taking  but as explained in earlier blogs of course I am scared, of course I am struggling to get the training in and suffer set backs but as Lorna & I say “ok I want to do this so how do we make it happen?” So by announcing it I have committed to making it happen & it will happen.

Need to go am off for cycle.